How to tell the sex of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around
with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How
can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were
on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
So, you like Dodge, eh?
a look at this.........hehe!
My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me
in the driveway,
the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was
jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting
jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about".
She stopped jumping and
was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she
that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic!
We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her
on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said "Oh, honey, There's more".
I asked, "What do you mean more"?
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are
going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant,
I asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart
and bought the
home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled
over by a Sheriffs Deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure
that he has a better education.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies
Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License
and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete
stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between
slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and
you give me the ticket,if not you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating
the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says:
"Do you want me to stop or just